Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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