Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
