Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
