Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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