I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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