apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
