I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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