She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
