do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
