i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
