we made out on top of his cat.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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