I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
