i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
