so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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