it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
