not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
