The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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