i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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