Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
