Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
