Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
