It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
