hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
