my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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