he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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