Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
