You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
