ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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