Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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