I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
