just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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