If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
