WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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