..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
