I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
