so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
