Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
