My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We need to get me chipped asap
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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