i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
