I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just found a bag of teeth...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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