I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
