At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
