its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
