okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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