if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
