I wish my penis had an off switch
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
