Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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