im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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