addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
