Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
