:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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