I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
