It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
